a hidden place to be inspired…to create
i really am not a huge fan of flying. i would rather be spread out in the back seat of a car with the feeling of tires on the pavement and my snack bag and blanket tucked beside me…not in a little seat that i just fit in with the elbows of my neighbors wing pointing at my boobs. i feel a little trapped. what if i get a wedgie? “sorry sir, my ‘allergies’ are causing me to need to clear my throat every 2 minutes…no, no…it’s not a nervous tic….it’s allergies” (followed by my best embarrassed and courteous smile).
i’m typically convinced i’m destined to be in that small percentage of people involved in a plane crash. (disclaimer: i am very sensitive to these tragedies, so please do not take the following rant to mean different) every time i land, i let out all the breath i had been holding for the preceeding 2 hours and think, “i made it! i didn’t die!”. but then i immediately regret my relief, convinced this very sense of security will surely be my downfall on the connecting flight i have in 45 minutes.
i’m quite superstitious when it comes to flying….if you couldn’t already tell. i always kiss my fingertips and touch the outside of the plane as i cross the threshold.
so…imagine bieber touching the outside of the plane rather than showing his “i heart peace super cool fingers” to everyone….yeah, that’s what i do to the outside of the plane. weird. i know. …..i know. if you are my family reading this and thinking, “i haven’t seen that!” it’s because i am terribly embarrassed and don’t want you to know…or i’m super stealth, like catwoman. either way, i’m embracing this quirk before i regret it, as my paranoi has convinced me that this, too, is probably what will cause the aforementioned crash….as if i have jinxed us all with my “kiss of death”.
best seat on the row? i changed my mind 4 times during my flight to chicago at 6am last friday, which was a whopping one hour. i sat in the middle. which normally is the most feared seat. not one stranger, but TWO! i decided about 30 minutes in that the middle seat was actually best, but only if i am feeling brave enough, or rude enough (i can’t decide which), to not hunch a bit and just sit normal. people HAVE to make room for your shoulders…right? they know you have no where to go, so they tend to be accommodating. i had made my decision….middle is BEST! not worst. ….but the window seat is nice, right? you are in control of the shade and at least you can lay your head on something! (this jealously driven indecisiveness likely was because of it being 6am with a 6am sunrise in my eye for 10 minutes.) maybe window seat is best…..i found myself envying the woman with the aisle seat shortly thereafter. she can lean out as far as she wants! guilt free arm rest usage! ….i eventually came back to the decision of no decision.
i don’t like flying.
on my connecting flight, i got the middle seat again. thank you Southwest boarding group B. but again, i am a superstitious flyer, so i feel like everything is “meant to be”. i told the two girls that were seated in the aisle and window seat that they should have known they were doomed to get a third person based on the fact that they are both skinny. (yes, i actually said this to them.) my biggest fear is being asked if i want some comped drinks or some sort of credit if i would be willing to take a later flight because they overbooked, etc, etc, etc. NO! now which flight did God intend me to take!?! don’t give me OPTIONS!
luckily i have a God who can ease all of this for me.
“That is why i tell you not to worry about everyday life – whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. they don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavely Father feeds them. and aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” —Matthew 6:25-27
“And i am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” —Romans 8:38
“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” —Proverbs 16:9
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” —Psalm 90:12
(i really love that one)
God is good. no matter what the outcome may be. He is with me, when i’m afraid….so i have nothing to fear.